"I have this very clear memory of when my daughter was 3," remembers Karen Diamond. "I don't know what it was about that day. I took her into school and she just started screaming. The teacher held her and she was standing in the window screaming as I drove away. I called her five minutes later from work and she was fine."

It's a universal scene in a timeless play. And every fall, it is acted out in preschools everywhere, as Mom walks out the door and leaves Child in a strange new place teeming with unfamiliar faces.

That's usually the moment when terror bursts forth in a crash of piercing shrieks and heavy tears. But don't worry, Mom; you'll soon feel better.

So, Who's More Traumatized?
Perhaps it's an exaggeration to say that mothers react as intensely to the separation as do their children. But as any mother will admit, a child's pain is a mother's pain. And it's difficult to not feel pangs of sadness and guilt when walking away as your child cries.

Karen Diamond's daughter is now 16 years old, and Karen is an associate professor of child development at Purdue University. As part of her job, she has witnessed many preschool partings.

"In my experience, most kids don't run off into the preschool classroom, wave good-bye and never have any problem at all," she says. "Almost all kids will cry or whimper or say something that indicates they're apprehensive."

Diamond points out that in many such cases, the child is simply reacting to the parent's subtle cues.

"If the parent feels less comfortable about it, sometimes they'll communicate that to their child. They'll say, 'I'll stay with you,' or, 'If you don't want to stay we can go home and come back tomorrow,''' Diamond says. "The child's going to pick up on that."

While offering to take the child out of the unfamiliar environment might initially make him feel better, it could simply prolong the inevitable and complicate every preschool morning thereafter.

Easing the Transition
By the age of 3, most children have been separated from their parents at one time or another. Even in the case of stay-at-home-moms, there has typically been a need for a babysitter or other child care at some point. All those experiences reinforce confidence and a child's idea that his mother would never leave him in a dangerous place.

That strategy worked for Donna Wolf when she first took her daughters to preschool.

"I played up that they're safe where they are. You know, 'Momma wouldn't leave you anyplace that isn't safe. Momma wouldn't leave you with people who aren't nice,'" Wolf says. "This is a common problem. It's not even a problem; it's a common experience."

Fortunately, another thread in the common experience is that separation anxiety typically doesn't last for long. Both of Wolf's daughters adjusted well and had no problem interacting with their classmates. They adjusted so well, in fact, that they got along with everyone in that innocent way that a young child often will.

"They couldn't tell me, 'Who are you playing with?' They might play with a kid every day but they can't tell you who she is," Wolf laughs. "Once they were singing some songs and the kids were turning to each other and hugging and my daughter turned to one girl and said, 'Oh, you're my best friend!' and the girl said, 'You're my best friend! What's your name?'"

One of the best things you can do to prevent first-day trauma is take your child to visit the preschool before the big day arrives. Introduce him to the teacher, tour the classroom and explain what he'll be doing there. This will make everything seem much less foreign to him when school begins.

And while you're trying to get your child to trust his future teacher, remember that you should do the same.

"The teachers are really in the best place to tell you [how your child is handling it]," says Wolf. "They have the advantage of having seen dozens or hundreds of kids, so they kind of know the pattern."

If the teacher allows children to bring certain things to class, you might let the child take his favorite stuffed animal to school. Even if he leaves it in the coat room during preschool time, he will associate it with home. It could provide that small amount of reassurance he needs to feel comfortable.

Kay Bumgardner tried a similar idea with her 4-year-old daughter, Haley.

"Someone mentioned to me to put some of my perfume on her wrist so she would feel like part of me was there with her. I told her that if she was missing me, she could smell her wrist and know that everything was okay," Bumgardner says. "It worked! When it came time to say bye-bye at the door, we gave each other hugs and kisses. She sort of hesitated at the door. I told her I would be back to pick her up after lunch, and she walked on in. She told me later that she thought she was going to cry but she stopped herself."

If your child doesn't immediately take to the separation as well as Haley, don't be discouraged. This is a big -- and positive -- change for your child, and you both might have a little trouble getting used to it.

"You want the best for your child. And when your child is really upset, you don't feel like you're providing that," says Diamond. "Parents make decisions about things with the idea of what's best for their child in mind, and it's important for parents to remember that. You're doing this for a reason."