Friends are special -- they enrich our lives and make us laugh. They are the stars of yesterday's joyful memories, and we eagerly look forward to seeing them tomorrow. A good friend is a blessing and something for which to be thankful.

Friendships are an important part of each stage of our lives. During the early years, initiating and nourishing a friendship is a step along the path of social development. This path changes as children mature, but those first steps set the foundation for social interaction in the future.

Babies and toddlers play with friends chosen by their environment and parents. Playmates are usually relatives, neighborhood tots and the children of their parents' friends. When a child enters preschool, he is in an environment that allows him to pick and choose his special playmates based on mutual interest, compatibility or temperament.

A Friend to Remember Always
Amber met her special friend, Ashton, when she attended preschool. "The two girls instantly became best friends," says Amber's mother, Cristina Solomon, of Yucaipa, Calif. When Cristina met Ashton's mother, they realized that they had attended high school together. Surprisingly enough, the two women also attended childbirth preparation classes together with their husbands when they were pregnant with Amber and Ashton. The two little playmates "met" before they were even born.

Lisa Van Doren of Oceanside, Calif., says her son, Zack, immediately made friends with a boy named Luke in his preschool class. Luke has a twin sister, Zoe, who has a best friend named Zandra. The four children, Zack, Luke, Zoe and Zandra, became inseparable soon after meeting. "Luke told the teacher he wanted to be called 'Zuke' so he would have a 'Z' name too," says Lisa. "He will correct us if we say, 'Good morning Luke.'"

Jay has "bonded by choice with the girls in his class," says his mother, Laura Forbis, of Jefferson City, Mo. "Jay seems to be the future husband of choice." He has especially bonded with a little girl named Lauren. The two preschoolers have hosted play dates for each other at their respective homes.

A Preschooler's Definition of a Friend
"A preschooler may use the word 'friend' to describe another child at the playground if that child spoke to him and they shared the sandbox together, even if it was just for a few moments," says Mary Lynch, a child and family development specialist in Tampa, Fla. She says preschool children tend to view friendship as a circumstance of the present, not a relationship that may extend to the future. A preschooler, when asked to define the word "friend" may say, "a kid who plays with me." For a preschooler, a friend is a playmate. "While for that child's parents and teachers, a friend is the playmate the child plays with most often," says Lynch.

"When choosing for themselves from a diverse group of playmates, as at preschool, a child will usually initiate play with another of the same age and gender, who is doing something that the child likes to do," says Lynch. Often, the choice of playmate has more to do with the activity than the playmate. Fairly quickly, the child usually finds one or two favorite playmates. "These are the playmates, now friends, he enjoys playing with most frequently."

Lynch says these friendships are highly important to the child's development. He learns a lot about himself by comparing himself with his friends, and he makes frequent comparisons. For a preschooler, if a friend is short, then he must be tall.

The Importance of Early Friendships
A preschooler learns about social interaction when relating to his friends. "Every interaction, whether the children are meeting for the first time or the friends are playing a taking-turns game, offers an opportunity for social learning," says Lynch. "For instance, some children do not show an interest in toilet learning until they observe their friends mastering the task.

"It is important for a child's social learning to have the experience of initiating play, maintaining interactions and developing friendships, independent of any adult's interference," says Lynch, who recommends that parents make the effort to ensure that such friendships endure past the schoolhouse door.

A Parent's Role in the Preschool Relationship
There are ways parents can help their preschoolers maintain friendships after the school bell rings. Listen to your child's cues. If a schoolmate's name is brought up regularly during conversations at home, it's a clue that this child's presence has sparked an interest in your preschooler. If your child doesn't mention other schoolmates, you can ask, "Who did you play with at school today?" or "Is there anyone who you would like to invite over to play on Saturday?"

If you don't know the other child's parents, make an effort to meet them or at least talk on the phone. If they drop off and pick up their child at different times than you do, put a note in the child's cubby or other personal space indicating that you are interested in setting up a luncheon or play date.

It is a good idea to get to know the parents of any child your child wants to see outside the schoolyard. Before accepting an invitation for a play date, it's important to know if the other child's home has a pool that isn't secured or if there are medications, matches or chemicals within a child's reach. What type of television viewing is allowed in the home? Are inappropriate words or phrases used? Are children taught and encouraged to share, be kind and practice good manners?

By initiating a friendship, your child will begin to learn the social skills necessary to maintain and nourish a relationship. As parents, we can help our children develop these important skills -- skills that are needed during each stage of life.