- my iParenting
- quick clicks
- preschoolers today articles
- preschoolers today q&a
- children today articles
- children today q&a
- community & groups
- research baby names
- prepare a birth plan
- content channels
- ip channel rss feeds
- read birth stories
- read parenting stories
- recommended books
- e-newsletters
- safety recalls
- ip diaries
- ip store
- mom of the month
- dad of the month
- editor's letter
- letters to the editor
From Our Sponsors
- e-newsletters
- Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters
- award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
Expert Q&A
 |  |  |
| By Susan Bartell Licensed Psychologist | ||
 |
My 4-year-old throws tantrums at bedtime and refuses to stay in her room. What should I do?
Sometimes preschoolers go through a phase when they have separation anxiety, even though they may never have had it before. It is likely related to her beginning to feel more independent in her life while also feeling afraid to stretch her wings and take on new life experiences.
Since sleep represents a significant symbolic separation, many young children go through brief phases when they fight sleep. Some even begin to have nightmares as they start to have more stimulating, and sometimes worrisome, experiences during the day. In other words, as they begin to realize that the world isn't rosy all the time, they become a bit more anxious and may have sleep difficulties.
The best way to handle this is to maintain your routine – don't give in to the urge to lie with her to sleep or allow her to sleep with you. Doing so will deprive her of the chance to work through her feelings and continue to develop the skills she needs to soothe herself. Be comforting and reassuring but firm about sleeping and bedtime rules. Your calmness and gentle insistence will tell her that you are confident that she will be fine and feel better soon."
Related Expert Q&A
- How do I keep my 3 1/2-year-old twins in their beds at night?
- Can you tell me what the correct amount of sleep is for a 3-year-old, a 5-year-old and an 8-year-old?
- My 3-year-old cannot sleep because he's worried about ghosts and monsters. What can I do to help?
- My 3-year-old wakes up one to three times a night andcomes into our bed. What can I do?
- My 3-year-old son has problems sleeping by himself. What should I do?
More Answers by this Expert
- My 5-month-old son wakes up every half-hour after 4 a.m. How do I get him out of this routine?
- We have a 7-month-old and are expecting our second child. They will be 14 months apart. Do we need a second crib?
- I have 1-year-old twins and another baby on the way. Is it OK to have all three children in the same room?
- One of infant twins is suffering from colic, and they share a room. Should I separate them?
- What are your thoughts about allowing a 5-year-old to continue to sleep with his parents instead of her own bed in her own room?