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Expert Q&A
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| By Susan Bartell Licensed Psychologist | ||
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I have 3 1/2-year-old twin girls. They've recently moved into their "big girl" bed from cribs. Now, every night is a slumber party and they run around all they want. It's driving us crazy. My husband and I worry about their safety. We are not able to split them up due to space constraints. How can we get them to respect the boundaries we've placed on them and stick to our rules/
Actually, this isn't a twin issue, so don't feel bad about not being able to split them up. At 3 1/2 your daughters are testing their limits to see how far they will succeed in pushing you, which is normal behavior when transitioning to the freedom of a bed. This is the first of many opportunities you will have during their childhoods to set firm limits and stick to them.
I strongly suggest resisting physical punishment or even yelling if you can help it because, as you've discovered, these don't work and will only make your daughters feel that you have run out of ways to control them. Instead, it's important for one of you to be in the room with them every night to ensure that their pre-bedtime routine is calm. Read a book or play a game with them; make sure that they put these away when it is time for bed. Tuck them in and then sit on a chair in their doorway. At the first sign of movement out of bed, sternly, without talking, place the child back in bed. Do not allow either one to go to the bathroom after lights out, no matter how many times she may ask. Stay put until both girls are asleep. Eventually the routine will become established and the testing period will be over – just in time for the next one to start!
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