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Expert Q&A
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| By Harriet S. Worobey, M.A. Early Childhood Educator Director, the Nutritional Sciences Preschool | ||
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My daughter will turn 5 just in time to start kindergarten, but is extremely shy. Should I hold her back?
It is indeed very difficult to determine emotional maturity for kindergarten. It is even more difficult to predict how mature a child may be in fourth, sixth, or tenth grade from preschool behavior. Yet, the decision to enroll a young 5-year-old in kindergarten may have tremendous implications for his/her whole school life!
I have to say that I have never heard a parent say that he/she made a wrong decision in "holding the child back," but I have had many parents say that at the fourth grade level, they now regret pushing their child ahead when he/she was 5. If you have an only child who is shy and may not get the attention she deserves in a large kindergarten class, you may be doing her a favor by giving her an extra year in preschool to blossom (like Leo the Late Bloomer). Oftentimes a well-behaved, quiet child can get overlooked in kindergarten where the teacher has such a wide range of ability and behavior levels.
Two years ago I had a very bright but extremely shy 4-year-old, whose parents decided to send her back to my class the next year. The change in one year was remarkable. She had the confidence to give answers in circle time and organize pretend games in the dramatic area, as well as to explore the learning centers at a much more advanced pace than the year before.
Another point to be aware of is that at this point repeating preschool is not a "failure." But once a child is in elementary school, there is a tremendous negative implication to repeating a grade socially, no matter how hard the teachers and parents try to soften it. I would certainly rather have a child fitting in well academically and socially in class than constantly struggling because of being the youngest.
All of this being said, only you can fully understand your child's needs. It is certainly possible that she will become less shy and more confident in the spring. I often advise my parents to "double register"; in other words, sign up for kindergarten as well as another year of preschool and make up your mind in May or June. Good luck!
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