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Expert Q&A
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| By Keath Castelloe Low child and adolescent psychologist | ||
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My 5-year-old son killed a baby lizard by squeezing it to death. I asked him why he did it and he told me he likes to kill small animals (like ants and roaches). I am very concerned. How should I handle this?
I certainly understand your concerns. Sometimes it is hard to distinguish between the innocent curiosity and exploration that is normal among little boys and the more serious intentional infliction of harm and pain.
The first thing to do is talk with your son about your worries. Explain to him that it is not OK to harm living things including ants, bugs and lizards. Help him develop a sense of respect and compassion for these creatures.
Teach by example. Help him rescue a bug that is stuck in a water puddle. Gently help an ant back into the grass. Marvel over the butterflies in the garden. Walk to a pond and thrill over the water bugs and dragonflies. Plant some flowers for the bees. Talk about lucky lady bugs and try to count their spots. Remind him about the importance of using gentle hands with living creatures so we will not hurt them.
Go to the library and find books on lizards. Read together about their amazing qualities. You may also want to find books with bugs, insects, spiders or lizards as characters. Reading these stories helps humanize the bugs and shows them as feeling creatures.
Teaching kindness and respect is the first step towards teaching kids empathy. If your son does not seem to be responding to these interventions or if his behavior becomes more serious, contact your local mental health professional.
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