- my iParenting
- quick clicks
- preschoolers today articles
- preschoolers today q&a
- children today articles
- children today q&a
- community & groups
- research baby names
- prepare a birth plan
- content channels
- ip channel rss feeds
- read birth stories
- read parenting stories
- recommended books
- e-newsletters
- safety recalls
- ip diaries
- ip store
- mom of the month
- dad of the month
- editor's letter
- letters to the editor
From Our Sponsors
- e-newsletters
- Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters
- award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
Expert Q&A
 |  |  |
| By Paul Coleman Psychologist Family Therapist | ||
 |
My 4-year-old lies. How can I stop this behavior?
Four-year-olds unfortunately do not have a good sense of right and wrong but they are developing a sense of how to play the system to get what they want. They are great believers in situation ethics. So if it is any solace your 4-year-old is not alone, he's doing what most of his peers are doing.
So don't feel like he is out to get you or that he is heading down the wrong path in life. It's OK to tell him that you know he's not telling the truth or that he's making up stories, but don't punish him for that as if it was a conscious act. If he was a teenager it would be different.
The best thing is to make the rules clear and stick to them. At his age time out is undoubtedly the best "punishment." When he does tell the truth make sure you praise him for it, especially if it gets him in trouble. You have to show that you value the truth, rather than just say it. Which reminds me that many parents often shade the truth with their kids -- thinking they can get away with something. Don't set a bad example.
Related Expert Q&A
- I sometimes feel guilty when I just let my children play and do not join in. Should I always participate in their playtime?
- Is TV really that bad for children? Should I really be concerned?
- My kids are couch potatoes. All they want to do is watch TV. What can I do?
- What should I do about my child's lisp?
- I have twins who need a little push in the self-confidence department. Any suggestions?
More Answers by this Expert
- How do I deal with being dependent on my partner after supporting myself for so long?
- My new baby is very fussy and not sleeping well, which is getting my wife, who is recovering from her C-section, frazzled. How can I help my wife muster the stamina to make it through this time?
- How can I stop my 4 year old from ignoring me?
- Is it appropriate for an 8-year-old girl to sleep in her father?s bed?
- My daughter recently started seeing a psychologist. Is it best she see him alone, or is family therapy more appropriate, even if the problem revolves around school?