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Expert Q&A

	By iParenting Staff iParenting Staff Experts

My 3-year-old wanted to take dance class, but now won't participate. What can I do?

The first question to think about is whether your daughter's fear is of dance, or of your leaving. You could start by asking her some questions that require just one or two word answers. For example, you might put on some music at home, even her dancing clothes, and dance with her. Make it fun, laugh, and try to get her to laugh with you. Then ask, "Does it make you feel happy (show very happy face) or sad (show very sad face) when you dance? After she answers, you can ask, "Does it make you happy or sad when I leave your dancing class?" If she seems to like dancing at home, it might be helpful to take her to class, and say, "I'll stay and watch you for a little while." Would that make you feel happy?" I recommend, however, that you don't stay too long, just long enough for her to feel comfortable. If it turns out that her fear is more your leaving than the dancing itself, try to reduce your stay little by little until you can just take her to school and leave. Soon she may love the dancing so much that she will even tell you that you don't have to stay. If she still really doesn't want to go to dance class, I would let it go. She might want to come back to it later, and if you insist she stay, she could resist this completely.

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