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Expert Q&A
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| By Keath Castelloe Low child and adolescent psychologist | ||
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My son is partially potty trained. He goes all day and all night completely dry. We can even go out to stores and restaurants with no trouble at all. The problem is with bowel movements. He is deathly afraid. He withholds to the point that I am worried he will cause damage. How can I help? I have even tried putting the diaper back on, but he still panics.
It is possible that your son has had a bad experience passing a hard stool. Constipation is common in children, especially in kids going through potty training. Children may hold stools for a number of reasons – not wanting to stop playing to use the bathroom, fears around the potty or even opposition. Holding stools can result in constipation. Constipation can result in painful bowel movements.
When stools are hard they hurt and can even cause anal fissures. Unfortunately, once a child begins to hold onto his stools a vicious cycle occurs. The child holds stools because of fear they will hurt. Stools then become harder and larger. When he can no longer hold on, he must use the bathroom and his fears are reinforced with another, often more painful hard stool. Attempting to avoid the pain of bowel movements, he continues to hold again and the cycle continues!
It may be helpful to meet with your pediatrician to get a better understanding about what is going on. If constipation is the culprit your doctor can give you information about how to soften stools. Increasing liquid intake and fiber in diet, decreasing fats in diet, mineral oil, and suppositories can all help. Adding exercise to these approaches can be beneficial, as well. Once your son's stools soften and he has a few bowel movements that are not uncomfortable, his fears should subside.
Continue to proceed with potty training in a calm, loving, and reassuring way. Reward small steps toward successes. A "no pressure" approach to potty training is always best.
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