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Expert Q&A

	By Harriet S. Worobey, M.A. Early Childhood Educator Director, the Nutritional Sciences Preschool

My son starts preschool soon. I am having a hard time teaching him things he needs to know. He gets very frustrated. What should I do?

There are many issues involved in your problem. The main issue seems to involve your child's frustration and need to have things perfect. Oftentimes parents or others close to a child may communicate this need unknowingly -- not by things we say directly to the child, but by our own behaviors. Is someone close to your child the kind of perfectionist who gets mad at himself or others when things don't work perfectly the first time, for example? Even if you're telling your child it's OK to make mistakes, he may not think so if he sees adults behaving otherwise. One way to help your child may be to model situations in which adults make mistakes, handle it calmly, and then problem solve for solutions.

The other issue is the one about learning at home. Child initiated learning is always the easiest and the most fun. But if your child isn't one who is interested or ready to do these things at home, perhaps finding activities that do not seem as much like rote learning or drills would do the trick. I often suggest making books at home: If your child's favorite thing is trucks, make a truck books. Have him look through magazines to find truck pictures, cut them out, glue them on a paper, and copy the name of the truck (shovel loader, dump truck, etc.). Collect lots of pages. Have him make a cover (My Truck Book by Billy). Staple or punch holes and attach with yarn or brass fasteners. Another idea that is usually a hit is making books, cards, or letters for grandparents or a favorite aunt or uncle. Then the praise will be coming from someone other than a parent, too. Another idea could be keeping a journal: have him dictate a story or the day's happenings to you in a special journal. He can illustrate and taking over some of the printing as he becomes more comfortable and motivated. I try to discourage parents from doing workbooks with young children. The numbers and letters in the workbook do look perfect and may discourage the children. Also, don't forget that workbooks are actually tests. If you don't know the material already, they will not teach it to you. If you don't already know all the words that start with A, you can't very well circle them. A final suggestion would be to talk to his preschool teacher and see what activities he or she think would be appropriate for your son. Good luck!

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