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Expert Q&A
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| By Harriet S. Worobey, M.A. Early Childhood Educator Director, the Nutritional Sciences Preschool | ||
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How do I ease separation anxiety in my child when I drop him off at preschool?
I have found that when a child knows exactly what toexpect, it helps his sense of security. Talking with yourchild about what exactly will happen in school and in what orderwill greatly decrease the pain of his separation. Do NOT sneakout; do NOT say, "I will be right back." Such techniques lessenthe child's trust in you. Let your child know that preschool is aspecial place for children and teachers: they will play with toys(you can mention a few), have circle time, use the bathroom, have asnack, go outside on the playground, etc., and then Mommy (orDaddy or sitter) will come back. Emphasize that Mommy ALWAYScomes back.
If you have ever been frightened or had feelings likeyour child does, it is a good idea to let him know that youcried when you first went to school, too. Don't ever make lightof a child's feelings -- they are very real to him or her. Acknowledge that she feels sad, scared, angry, and that it's OK to feelthat way. It is also a good idea to let the classroom teacherknow what your child is feeling or saying at home. Also, anyhints you may have for the teacher, such as special things that workfor your child (a blanket, teddy, special game) might make thetransition easier. For some children, we have found that theseparation is easier when the parent comes into the classroom for afew minutes. For others, that would be a disaster, and it's best tomake the break at the classroom door.
Children are individuals, and teachers and preschoolprograms need to be flexible to these individual differences. By parent and teacher being sensitive to the individual needsand feelings of your child, the tears that may accompany the firstfew days of preschool shouldn't last too long.
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- A child in my daycare cries often at minor instances and demands that his mother be called to get attention. How can I get him to stop creating situations where he feels that he needs to lose control?
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- How do I ease separation anxiety in my child when I drop him off at preschool?
