On the medication topic…the last one they put him on didn't do a thing for him. So we had to move on again to something else. It was a hard thing to do, but I agreed to putting him on an antidepressant. He has started taking Zoloft, but hasn't taken it long enough yet to know if it will help him or not. His doctor said that she could tell he was feeling really down about everything and that he wouldn't act any better if we didn't treat it. I'm hoping that this will help him -- I would really love to see him happy again. Thinking back, it has been a long time since he seemed that way. His doctor also recommended that I speak to my doctor as well. She had noticed a lot of changes in me over the past year, which haven't been for the better, unfortunately. I guess this stuff really tends to wear you out after a while. So I went to my doctor, and he put me on medication, as well. It's called Serzone and it's supposed to not only help me start feeling better, but is also supposed to help me start sleeping, which I desperately need. I can't remember the last time I've slept through the night. Taking this was a big decision for me, but Conner's doctor made the comment that if I'm not feeling my best, then I can't help him the way I need to. I guess that comment hit me like a ton of bricks -- I owe it to him to be at my best. So here we go…hoping for the best!

Christmas was good. He spent Friday and Saturday with his dad and grandparents, and I really missed him. But a little time with the grownups was nice, too -- I even got to unwrap my own presents this year! One thing that I got was a complete surprise, but I'm so excited! My mom and dad got me a scanner, so now I'll be able to send in pictures with some of my updates. I'm sending one this week from last month when they took their school pictures. I think it's a really wonderful one of him -- check out those gorgeous blue eyes! Hard to believe such an innocent looking little guy can do so many things. Anyway, hope you like it!

I'm working on those New Years resolutions…mostly the same old ones. Lose weight, pay off bills, get organized, blah blah blah. But the biggest one I'm making is to be the best mommy I can be. I know at times over the past year I haven't been. If I keep any of them, may this be the one. I know how much he needs me.

Hope everyone has a great week. Talk to you soon!

TTFN, Amy