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Siblings Are Special, Too
Nurturing Each Child in a
Special Needs Household By Shannon McKelden
(Lifelight Books, 2003). "One of our late-night conversations revealed his interest in acting. Damian wanted to know how kids got chosen for TV roles and whether or not he could do film work as well."
Special Needs Household
Banki followed through with Damian's interest just as she would have investigated a new therapy for Caspian. "We got headshots, put together a resume and got an agent," she says. "He did some pretty fun stuff. [He] had parts in a few films and was even in a Microsoft commercial."
Banki understood her son's need for something that defined him separately from his brother's autism. As Atesha grows older, Banki will continue this thoughtful nurturing of each of her children's personal interests.
Joy Daniel is a Seattle mother of two: 5-year-old Margaux and 7-year-old Audrey, who is deaf and autistic. Daniel is aware that Margaux has fewer play date opportunities than she would if Audrey was less of a handful.
"We only visit very close friends who understand how it's going to be and can handle it," she says. "As a single mother, I find balancing the needs of both girls particularly challenging because Audrey needs full attention nearly all the time."
Dr. Barkin understands this concern. "Each child should be encouraged to develop their own interests and friends," he says. "A balance of time spent with peers with time for siblings and family should be fostered."
Though Daniel attempts to limit Margaux's feelings of responsibility for Audrey somewhat, she also realizes that Margaux benefits from the experience of having a sister with autism. "She's very caring about Audrey [and] concerned with keeping her involved when others are there," Danieln says. "She lights up with happiness hen Audrey connects with her in some way a kiss, a hug, an exchange of toys."