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How to Survive Autism
A Been-there, Done-that Guide
for Parents By Barbara Fischkin
for Parents
No, we didn't cure him. Not by any means. But we also didn't institutionalize him, push him in front of a speeding train or let him grow like a mushroom in a dark stinky corner of the house. (Although I can't swear that at times it wasn't tempting.) But here he is, living with us at 19, as we search for a small group home in or near our community, a place where he can, in his own style, be an adult. A place that is decidedly a home, not an institution. Meanwhile, he attends an autism program at our local high school, one which we helped to create and which keeps him involved in the classroom, at part-time jobs, at recreation and cooking and with other daily living skills for almost 12 hours a day.
As for that toilet training: During the day he will fight to find a bathroom. You know those signs? For Employees Only. Dan only has to see one to become his own brand of anarchist. Lock the men's room, he'll use the ladies. In short, he barges right in but generally gets his business done without collateral damage. At night, when he's asleep he's not always so lucky. And so, we live blessing Tide, a double, extra long vinyl mattress and, more recently,a Whirlpool Duet Washer and Dryer, industrial (and autism) strength appliances about which I cannot rave enough.
True, ours is not an easy existence. We fight too much, spend too much money, drink too much on occasion well we were both newspaper reporters. I also won't make the case that we haven't been, in some respects, lucky. Although Dan stopped talking at 3 1/2 and still does not speak, or show what he knows or behave himself or stifle all of his acts of frustration-fueled aggression Childhood Disintegrative Disorder did not turn out to be as bad as predicted. Even the Yale Child Clinic has admitted this to us. He has also been blessed with good physical health, beyond the occasional seizure. We are spared the complications of wheelchairs, crutches, braces, trachs, etc.