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Home › Articles › Safety Issues › Relational Aggression

Relational Aggression

Helping the Young Victims of Emotional Bullying

By Jenn Director Knudsen

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The main character goes on to confide in her mom: "I told her how hard it is to be friends with Katie: '...I even think she's been saying bad things about me to my friends so they won't like me,' I explained."

Eventually, through the use of role-play, Monica stands up for herself and severs her unhealthy relationship with Katie. "...I don't feel bad anymore. It's nice to know that whatever I do, I'm going to be just fine!"

"Using My Secret Bully as a read-aloud to the entire class, kids began to recognize themselves in the characters and understand the implications of their behaviors," says Carol Young Lerner, assistant director of special education in a Woonsocket, R.I., school, where Ludwig's book was used in a classroom of 25 elementary kids. "Even those on the sidelines could empathize and learn valuable coping strategies in social situations that make them uncomfortable."

Ludwig, who speaks passionately about the subject of relational aggression to individuals and audiences at speaking engagements, concedes her book is not the sole source for solving the problem of bullying. Rather, she calls her book a "springboard for more information," and "just ... one of many solutions."

It's a solution she and her daughter, Allie, finally settled upon to end her victimization.

Allie, too, ended the relationship with her bullying friends and moved on. Today, says her mom, her fifth grade daughter "has grown a lot; she's a very mature child for her age," she says. "She's got really good communication skills."

Allie's experience taught her the importance of making and hanging on to a few true friends. This is the hope for all young kids.

Turning Bullies into Friends

Turning Bullies Into Friends is a spin off of The Tallest Leprechaun: A Tall Tale of Terrible Teasing written and illustrated by 11-year-old Emily Grace Koenig, published by Little Treasure Books. This campaign consists of a one-hour book reading and interactive question and answer discussion presented by our "Tallest Leprechaun," 6 foot, 7 inch actor Craig Hanzelka, whose birthday just happens to be on St. Patrick's Day, and who will be dressed as a leprechaun for the program presentation. When available, guest speakers will accompany Craig to speak on the topics of bullying and diversity.

"If there was ever a time to encourage children to eliminate prejudice and bullying, it's now," says Paula Lizzi, marketing director of Little Treasure Books. "We will be working along with school guidance counselors, librarians and community service officials to ultimately eliminate bullying in schools and neighborhoods, and at sporting events," says the book's publisher, Bernadette Garzarelli.

Little Treasure Books kicks off this nationwide anti-bullying campaign on November 6, 2004. For a list of event locations, times and dates, click here.


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