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Lifelong Friends?
Soothing Sibling Rivalry
By Erin Brown Conroy, M.A.
Jealousy, competition, favoritism, difficulty sharing. To some extent, each of these branches of the tree of "sibling rivalry" grow in every family. "Where two or more children are gathered in one family, there contention will be also" isn't in the bible, but it sure seems like it could be!
Brothers and sisters don't have to be absolute arch enemies to be dealing with sibling rivalry; in fact, bits and pieces of sibling rivalry pop out every day as normal behavior. What isn't normal is when sibling rivalry interferes with or breaks down relationships. What's important is how we, as parents, along with our children, deal with sibling rivalry.
The No. 1 feeling associated with sibling rivalry is anger. The problem isn't the fact that our child gets angry when bumping into sibling rivalry issues. The problem is in the fact that our child doesn't know what to do with the feelings of anger. If we start by asking our child the question, "What can we do when we're angry with our brother or sister?" and then finish by giving answers and tools to our child, we'll hit the issue of sibling rivalry at its root.