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Play is Not a Four-Letter Word

Remembering the Importance of Playtime

By Lisa A. Goldstein

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If the thought of rolling that ball back and forth or playing Candy Land for the 10,000th time with your children makes you want to hide, but the guilt of not playing with them enough gets to you, you're not alone. In an informal survey of 10 moms, all but one said they feel guilty for not playing with their children more.

"I feel guilty about it, but yes, playing with [my son] can be the most fascinating drudgery!" says Stacey Carroll from Holden, Mass. "I love the end result ... the fact that he's a curious and smart little boy, but sometimes the process is a little boring. Again, I feel guilty admitting that."

The Importance of Play
The first step is reminding yourself why it's important to play with your kids. "Should parents spend some time each day playing with their kids?" asks Sybil Lowey, an early childhood educator with more than 28 years of experience from Houston, Texas. "Most definitely yes. Playing is the way in which children learn. As a parent, you want to nurture your child's development."

By playing with your children, you're increasing their creativity and intellectual stimulation and making them feel more secure, social and loved. If you play totally with each of your children for a minimum of 15 minutes a day, you've done a lot, says Dr. Susan Smith Kuczmarski, author of The Family Bond: Inspiring Tips for Creating a Closer Family (McGraw-Hill, 2000).

If you're thinking that 15 minutes is short, think again. "Fifteen minutes will seem like a very long time, if [parents] let their child take the lead for this special, one-on-one time," says Dr. Smith Kuczmarski. "The best news is, parents too can enjoy this kind of pure play." This kind of play will allow you to deeply listen and get completely involved, becoming engaged with your children.


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