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My Blankie
In Love with the Lovie
By Kimberly Austin
A child will naturally part with a lovie if she finds comfort in something else. For example, adults often have a sweater or special necklace they wear that provides comfort. The comfort provided by a lovie is important, however, and as a result, Honig would never recommend taking the lovie away from a child. "Taking the lovie away will not toughen your kid up," she said. "It will only make him or her more fearful, more worried and insecure."
Alison Pohn's mother felt differently. When Pohn, now 42, was 8 years old, she agreed to her mother's bribe of a party with a chocolate cake to get rid of her lovie -- a blanket. "She made me throw it down the incinerator," Pohn said. "I was devastated and stood there sobbing." After she lost the lovie, she had a hard time going to sleep, but the lovie was never replaced.
Pohn never figured out why her mother made her get rid of the lovie. However, if a parent feels a child's attachment to a lovie is too strong, Honig suggested finding special loving substitutes -- like a longer bed time routine -- to provide comfort and love to child.
"Read another story, sing a song while rubbing the child's back, get an extra drink of water," she said. "The need for a lovie might be telling you that you are working too much for your child and you need to spend more time with him or her."
Sometimes separation from a lovie happens when the lovie falls apart. Mortiz's son's blanky gradually fell apart with washing. "He was probably about 5 when it fell apart completely. It was so gradual that he seemed to accept the loss pretty naturally."