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Home › Articles › Multiples › Two Kids, One Day

Two Kids, One Day

When Twins Each Want to be Recognized Separately

By Gina Roberts-Grey, LCSW

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Having two children share the same birthday puts strain on more than a budget. Parents and family members of twins know it is not always easy to make sure that each child feels special, unique and remembered for their birthday or on a special holiday.

Although combined parties tend to work for younger children, as twins grow older, they often demonstrate their independence and personal styles by proclaiming "I want my own party," "I want to be different from my twin" or asking, "Why do I have to share my birthday?"

Have you ever contemplated how your twins feel about celebrating their birthday? Do they prefer to share a celebration or plan a party together? Would they be interested in separate parties held in different locations or on different days?

Many times twins receive one big gift to share at the holidays or for their birthday. They may receive identical gifts in order to eliminate rivalry whether they both want the same present or not. Twins may have combined birthday or slumber parties and celebrate religious ceremonies simultaneously for a multitude of reasons. There are some twins who do not mind sharing birthdays, gifts and special days with each other. Conversely, there are others who take exception to having one party to celebrate two birthdays.

Christine Nichols Corona has 10-year-old twins Matthew and Madison who correct anyone who says they have the same birthday or refers to either of them with non-gender-specific sounding nicknames such as "Matty" and "Maddy." Resisting name alliteration and rhyming, these spunky twins demonstrate their desire to be individuals. "One of us is older and one is younger," says Madison. "We each have our own name and should have our own birthday as well."

In Favor of One Day
Kim Renno of Elmhurst, Ill., is the mother of a 7-year-old daughter and twin 3-year-old girls. "Because of the expense, clean up and time needed to organize a birthday party, my twins will not have separate birthday parties," says Renno. Planning on hosting one small, combined celebration that includes one or two of each of their friends, Renno intends on keeping her twins' birthday parties low key as they get older.

This strategy is shared by many parents of twins and multiples. In an effort to prevent busy family members from finding time to attend two separate parties, parents opt for one combined celebration. "There's a lot of emotional energy and financial expense required to host two separate 'kid' parties," says Renno. "It's much easier to only have one day of festivities instead of two."

Insisting on Two
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