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Beyond the Twin Bond

Encouraging Relationships with Others

By Sabrina Glidden

Samalin also encourages parents to avoid coupling their children when referring to them, such as saying "the boys" or "the twins." "This allows each of them, from the very beginning, to have an identifying sound that refers only to himself and does not create confusion when meeting new people," she says.

Taking such steps to help children carve out their individuality will allow them to reach out to other children, Samalin says.

Samalin urges parents to consider the different interests each child may have and parent them individually. "We're really not the same parent to each child," Samalin says. "We react to them differently depending on the ways in which our child asks for what they need."

"Both of my sons were enthralled [with] trains," Boyle says. "However, one was caught up in the mechanics of trains and yet the other one was particularly interested in stories about trains and those who had engineered them. While their interests seemed to be for the same thing, they were each from a different perspective. Parents can dig a little deeper to find that individual perspective very early on and then feed into it."

Encouraging children to have their own experiences will also help in expanding their world beyond their twin.

Samalin suggests various set ups for play dates among children. When a grandparent picks up one of the children for a date the other child can have a friend over to visit, filling the time with new experiences to bring into the relationship. Or having two play dates at the same time could give each twin an opportunity to bring in new thoughts and memories to share once the date is over. Either way, the key is to allow and encourage each child to have separate, persnal experiences apart from one another, Boyle says.

Want to see more?

• Two Peas in a Pod? 10 Ways to Encourage Individuality in Twin Toddlers
• Opponents or Teammates? Tackling Sibling Rivalry in Twins
• Built-in Playmates: Encouraging Positive Cooperative Play
• Check out our Article Library.
• Talk about it!

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