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Toddling Off to School

Is Your Toddler Ready for Preschool?

By Keath Castelloe Low

Dr. Brown says that separation time can be easier if your child has spent time away from you before beginning preschool. "Don't make preschool the first time they are left without you," she says. "Have a loving family member or friend babysit, if you have never left your child before."

She also emphasizes the importance of saying goodbye. "Say goodbye and remind her you will be back soon," Dr. Brown says. "Never sneak out. That is fuel for separation anxiety." She adds that parents need to remain calm and confident during goodbyes because your anxiety will spread to your child if you show it. If you are reassuring and matter-of-fact in your approach to separations, you will set a good tone for your child. Transitional objects like a special blanket or teddy bear may ease some of your child's worries as well.

Parents can spend time planning and preparing their child for preschool, but sometimes kids just aren't ready.

Dr. Brown recommends giving your child at least two weeks with any new experience before deciding it won't work. "Some kids have more trouble adapting than others," she says. "If your child is miserable on a daily basis for the entire time she is at preschool, she is probably simply not ready to be there."

Frue, Cohen and Low all agree that their children's first year in preschool was a positive experience. Cohen says that despite all her initial worries her son separated beautifully and never looked back. "He completed his first year of preschool asking to go back for more!" she says.

Cohen also says there was an unexpected outcome from her son's first year of preschool. "I made some strong female connections with the other moms that I would like to continue outside of the school setting," she says. "I will miss these teachers, I believe, as much as Jonah! When another adult cares for your child and really nurtures and loves your child, it is a powerful thing."