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Getting Your Kids To Cooperate

An Excerpt

By Elizabeth Pantley

or ending your sentence with, "OK?" Make your request clear, short and specific, "Please put your dishes in the sink and wash the table." or "It's six o'clock. Gather your homework and come to the table." Practice making clear statements that clearly identify what you need or that describe the problem without elaboration and lecturing.

Set Priorities: Use the "When/Then" technique, also known as Grandma's Rule. This method simply lets your child know the sequence of his priorities. Work first/Play second. "When you have finished your homework, then you may play your new computer game." "As soon as your pajamas are on, we'll read a book." "The minute the dishes are washed, you can go out and ride your bike."

Give more choices: Offer your child a choice, "Would you like to sweep the floor or dry the dishes?" You can also use a sequence choice, such as, "What would you like to do first, put on your pajamas or brush your teeth?" Another way to use choice is the time-focused choice, "Would you like to start at 8:00 or 8:15?" If a child creates a third option, simply say, "That wasn't one of the choice" and re-state your original statement. If a child refuses to choose, you choose for him. It's important that when you give your child a chice that he learn to live with the consequences of his decision. So if your little run is running amok in the grocery store, you can say, "You have a choice. You can walk beside me or ride in the cart