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To Swing With Clouds
Learning to Truly Enjoy Playing with Our Children
By Stephanie Elliot
I was in the kitchen making dinner while my three children took turns flying onto my husband, who was sprawled on the living room floor, still wearing his suit and tie. The kids tackled him, tickled him and then thrashed to get away when, in fact, they were the ones who hurled themselves straight for Dad's ribcage in the first place.
Dinner entertainment consisted of a corn-eating contest and knock-knock jokes that made no sense but caused milk to spout from noses. Dinner ended with Dad conducting a spoon-balancing-on-the-nose contest. I didn't laugh. I just cringed at the mess.
After dinner, I cleaned up and my husband crouched behind a chair while the kids searched for him. Squeals erupted as Daddy jumped out and yelled, "Arrughhaww!" Everybody lunged in for more tickling and tackling.
Once the kids were in their pajamas, I felt a sense of calm until I noticed Baby Luke soaring through the air aboard a makeshift jet airplane (i.e., my husband's big, smelly feet), while the other children raced around the room yelling, "My turn! My turn!" Luke's doughy arms dangled midair as he kept a steady balance on his make-believe jet. Everybody but me laughed hysterically. I was too busy folding laundry.
When I'd had enough, I bellowed, "Slow down! You'll rile them up and they won't go to bed!" As usual, I got to be the "heavy" in the family. I am the mean one, the keeper of peace. Luke hung midair, secured now only by one large foot. He was belly-laughing so hard I was sure he would fall and crush his little skull. Then, my husband looked at me like he'd never seen me before, like I wasn't even the mother to his children, and asked, "Do you ever play with them like this?"
Was he kidding? "Of course I do!" I answered defensively. Then I looked at my oldest son for validation and asked, "AJ, I play with you, don't I?" "Yeah," he answered. Later, privately, AJ came to me and said, "Actually Mom, you don't really play with us all that much." My heart sank.
After I was able to regain consciousness from AJ's innocent blow, I took inventory of my average day. I don't really play with my kids. We wake up, I feed them and help them get dressed, and I take them to school. When AJ and my daughter, McKaelen, are in school, I run errands, take Luke to a tot class or join a playgroup.
All too soon, it's time to pick the kids up from school. We usually have lunch, meet friends at a park, go to the library or run more errands. It's 2:30 and I have not had a minute to myself. It's go, go, go and go some more. Do I lounge around and watch Dr. Phil or Trading Spaces
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