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The Truth About Consequences

Natural and Logical Thinking About Discipline

By Lisamarie Sanders

Dimerman says, "It's not like dealing with an 8-year-old where you can more clearly see what's a misbehavior." With her own 2-year-old, she determines misbehavior by the way her daughter looks at her. "When she goes over to the cupboard and looks back to see if I'm watching, and then kind of gives me a smirk when she gets her hands into something – then she knows she's doing something that she shouldn't be doing." However, she offers, if her child walks over to the same cupboard nonchalantly and just takes something that she shouldn't have without any naughtiness, Dimerman deals with that situation very differently.

Using consequences is not likely to have the same immediate effects as more punitive measures of discipline, but that doesn't mean the method isn't working. Consequences teach children about cause and effect – life lessons that will lead to self-discipline. If a child doesn't feel sad or upset about the consequences, you shouldn't impose another punishment. "Consequences are not used to make a child mind, they're to make him learn," says Dimerman.

"It is important for parents to remember that these tools are very effective when parents understand their children's level of development," says Goldstein, "and when these interventions are offered with love, support and understanding."

Take our quick discipline quiz here to see if you use natural and logical consequences when disciplining.