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The Gift of Sarcasm
How to Train Your Kids By Tim Bete
A few months later, I asked Paul if he had seen Dave lately. "Dave went outside," Paul said, setting me up.
"Why did he go outside?" I asked.
"He didn't like you," Paul stated, matter-of-factly. Not a bad retort for a 2-year-old. But, Paul wasn't finished.
"Dave thought our house was oooie," he added. "Oooie" is a word Paul uses to describe dirty diapers and pieces of banana that he's dropped like land mines on the kitchen floor.
I'm proud that Maria and Paul have acquired such a useful skill. I can only imagine what they'll learn when I tell them that I'm not taking them to Disney World.
When you're in a hurry to make a purchase at your local department store and the clerks are too busy talking among themselves to help you, turn to your child and say in a loud voice, "This would be a good place to open a department store." (Don't worry about offending the clerks. I have yet to meet a clerk who understands sarcasm. Besides, your child's education is your highest priority.)
As your child watches you use sarcasm, his or her knowledge will grow. And then one day, your child's brain cells that control sarcasm will come to life and you'll experience the following event.
You'll have to attend yet another late-night meeting, keeping you from eating dinner with the family. You'll gather the kids around the table to explain the importance of tonight's meeting and why you must order pizza for the third straight night. Then, your oldest child will turn to you and say, "This would be a great place to open a kitchen."
What should your reaction be? I highly recommend pretending you are a department store clerk who doesn't understand sarcasm. As for me, I intend to spend more time trying to model the seven virtues.