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Home › Articles › Discipline › Taking Control of Their Actions

Taking Control of Their Actions

5 Ways to Encourage Self-Discipline

By Lisamarie Sanders

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3. Let children make decisions.
Although children are unequipped to make all of the decisions in their lives, they should be encouraged to learn decision-making skills as early as possible. Young children can begin making choices as soon as they can communicate – either verbally or physically. "Choices offer a sense of power and control," explains Fletcher.

 

Let your child decide if he wants milk or juice with breakfast. Ask him if he wants to play peek-a-boo or pat-a-cake. As he gets older, offer him more opportunities to make decisions. However, be careful to limit the options to things that are acceptable to you.

For example, asking, "What do you want for breakfast?" offers too many choices and may result in an unacceptable answer, such as ice cream. A better alternative is to present two or three choices by saying something like, "Would you like cereal or scrambled eggs?" Be sure to only offer choices with which you are willing and able to follow through.

In addition to offering choices to your child, it is also necessary to hold children accountable for their decisions. If your child chooses milk to drink and then changes his mind after the milk has been poured, let him know that his initial decision stands. Console him by telling him he may have juice for lunch or for breakfast tomorrow. However, if he changes his mind before the beverage is poured, be flexible. "Children need to learn both flexibility and accountability," says Fletcher.

Another important step to take when discussing choices with your child is to explain that all decisions have consequences. Sometimes those consequences are good; sometimes they're not. "Help your child understand that when he chooses one thing, he is giving up something else," says Deborah Philips, M.S., a parent coach who helps individuals find their own best parenting answers. Helping your child understand what choices mean will help him exercise self-discipline by encouraging him to think about what is most important.


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