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Home › Articles › Discipline › Taking Control of Their Actions

Taking Control of Their Actions

5 Ways to Encourage Self-Discipline

By Lisamarie Sanders

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As I left my 2-year-old with his friend and her mom, my mind was filled with worry. This would be his first play date without me, and I was unsure how he'd behave. Would he jump on their furniture? Write on their walls? Throw a screaming fit when he wasn't given the snack he desired? I hoped that he had enough self-discipline to control himself while I was away.

Self-discipline, the ability to discipline oneself, is the goal of all discipline methods and plans. It is what gives children the ability to think about what they are going to do and make correct choices.

Whether it's at a play date, preschool or a visit to Grandma's, a child's self-discipline is tested the minute his parents are out of sight. In order to ease your mind and guide your child down the right path, use these expert tips to encourage self-discipline in your child.

 

1. Teach internal control.
Many parents use rewards and punishments to help their children behave, but children need more than this to learn to do the right thing. In fact, rewards and punishments often defeat the purpose because they require outside factors to control behavior. When parents dole out discipline in this way, their children learn to think in terms of, "Don't get caught," or "What's in it for me?" They don't learn to consider right from wrong and make good decisions.

 

One way to teach internal control is by changing the way we speak with our children. Susan Fletcher, a licensed psychologist in private practice in Dallas, Texas, suggests that parents alter their dialogue slightly to focus on internal things rather than external. For example, say, "Aren't you proud of yourself?" instead of "I'm so proud of you." This changes the approval from an outside source to an inside one.


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