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Play the Cleaning Game

Sweep Your Child off the Couch

By Laura Cone

"In terms of household jobs, there is some research that suggests they should have jobs by age 3," Crary says. "It's not a heavy-duty job. In one family, a child's job was to let the dog out, which was very helpful. That child had a good sense of self and place in the family. He had a job that was important."

Crary says parents can move from the role of nurturer, during which they do everything for their child, to the role of teacher and then coach. "I think it's a good idea to make it fun," she says. "It's also important for children to learn to motivate themselves. We are raising a generation of children who think everything will be fun. When they move into the job market, they are unhappy because they have to do routine stuff and someone has always made things fun. The real world does not make everything fun."

As a teacher, you can offer your children choices. As a coach, you can remind them they have the skills to figure out their choices, she says. "Your presence is all most younger children need to make it fun," Crary says.

With preschoolers, who are into fantasy games but may engage in power struggles, ask your children what they want you to do to help them clean their rooms. You may want to pretend to be their robot, genie or dinosaur, Crary says.

But at the same time, children are learning to organize on their own and become self-sufficient. "When they are in this stage, doing things with you is the greatest reward you could have," she says.

For more information, visit starparent.com.