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Perfect Parenting Keys

An Excerpt from Perfect Parenting

By Elizabeth Pantley

A second part of this key is to evaluate your expectations for your children. Create a list of rules. These rules should cover expected behavior by clearly identifying two things: what is NOT allowed AND what behavior IS expected. In other words, listing, "No fighting" as a family rule is only the first part of the equation. "Be kind and respectful to each other" clarifies the important concluding concept.

When everyone knows what to expect you'll find yourself nagging and complaining much less, and the kids cooperating much more.

Key #8: Build a foundation of love, trust and respect.
Imagine that you've been invited to a friend's home for dinner. Your friend welcomes you at the door and you step inside. Suddenly, your host shouts, "What is the matter with you! Your shoes are all muddy and you're getting my carpet dirty!" Embarrassed you mumble, "Sorry" and remove your shoes. As you do, you notice the hole in your sock, and so does your friend, who announces, "Geez. Don't you think you could have dressed properly for dinner? You look like a slob." As you take your place at the table, your host knocks your elbow off the table with a whispered "tsk, tsk". The dinner conversation is primarily your friend's story about a guest that joined them for dinner last night who had lovely manners and no holes in her socks. The story is sprinkled with your friend's occasional corrections to your table manners. When you finish your meal you stand up only to hearyour friend say, "It sure would be nice if somebody helped clear the table."