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Perfect Parenting Keys
An Excerpt from Perfect Parenting
By Elizabeth Pantley
Children have radar that tells them exactly when adults really mean what they say, and when they don't. Some parents really mean it only after repeatedly ignored requests. This is usually highlighted by a red face, a tense body, a child's middle name clenched between gnashing teeth, and a fist pounding the table to the tune of, "...and I mean it young man!"
Make yourself a promise to mean what you say -- the first time you say it. What this means is that after you've made a clear statement of what is required (see Key #2) you take action. For example, if you call your child in from the yard and he doesn't immediately respond you will have to put forth the extra effort to go out to the yard, take him by the hand and announce, "When I call you I expect you to come."
The beauty of this style is that you only have to "prove" yourself once or twice for your child to understand that, indeed, when you say it you mean it. The first time. (For those with older children who have already learned that they can ignore you the first few times with no repercussions, it may take more "proving" before they believe that you have really changed.
Your children can learn to believe that when you say it you mean it. Hang in there. Be consistent. It's definitely worth the effort.)
Key #4: Be brief and specific.
There is a disease that is rampant among parents. It's called lecture-babble-itis. The most obvious symptom is an emotional run-on sentence that goes on forever, punctuated by highlights of previous award wining monologues. As an example, you send your children upstairs with a polite request to get ready for bed. Half an hour later ou discover that they're having a pillow fight.