- my iParenting
- quick clicks
- preschoolers today articles
- preschoolers today q&a
- children today articles
- children today q&a
- community & groups
- research baby names
- prepare a birth plan
- content channels
- ip channel rss feeds
- read birth stories
- read parenting stories
- recommended books
- e-newsletters
- safety recalls
- ip diaries
- ip store
- mom of the month
- dad of the month
- editor's letter
- letters to the editor
From Our Sponsors
- e-newsletters
- Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters
- award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
Perfect Parenting Keys
An Excerpt from Perfect Parenting
By Elizabeth Pantley
Key #2: Tell, don't ask.
One popular mistake parents make is asking instead of telling. The way you phrase your words determines whether your children see your request as optional or required. Banish all wishy-washy phrases from your vocabulary.
When you want your child to do something (or stop doing something) make a clear, specific statement that leaves no room for confusion.
Take a look at the difference between these two types of requests:
Optional: It would be nice if somebody cleaned up this family room.
Required: Steven, please put all the toys back in the playroom. Kyle, please gather the dishes and put them in the dishwasher.
Optional: Kids, it's getting late, don't you think it's time to get ready for bed?
Required: It's eight o'clock. Time to shut off the TV and put on your pajamas.
Optional: I sure wish you'd get down from there.
Required: That's not a place to climb. Please get down.
Optional: Gather up your stuff now, okay?
Required: Please get your backpack, jacket and shoes, and get in the car.
Key #3: When you say it, mean it. The first time.
Some parents are in the habit of repeating a request over and over and over (and over!) before taking any action to see that a child complies with the request. Do you know anyone like this? (Perhaps intimately?)