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Oh, Those Outbursts!
Taming Tantrums Without Losing Your Sanity By Gina Roberts-Grey, LCSW
One Step AheadThe next time you visit the store, you will know there is the potential for a scene and can be armed to prevent a tantrum. Bringing items that will create a diversion often helps avoid a scene and gives parents peace of mind. "Offering your child a second choice to their requests eases them and can prevent a scene," says Mardock.
Learning how to use their words instead of their entire body is the first step. When her toddler starts demonstrating obstinate behavior, Mary Sobieski of Olathe, Kan., encourages him to tell her what is wrong using his "grownup" words instead of crying. "I would try to help him find the words that described his emotions instead of him crying to express how he felt," says the mom of three.
Keeping your cool while he's losing his is another positive example to model for your child. Help him identify the root of his distress and to verbalize it to you. "I would explain that it was easier for me to help him through what was troubling him if he would talk to me calmly," says Sobieski.
Although it is a natural progression to tantrum, children must learn to control their emotions and how to properly express themselves. Knowing what motivates their behavior will help you guide them through this segment in their development and onto more constructive forms of communication.
Experts like O'Toole and Mardock agree that with your support, your child will learn that while you encourage her expression, she must choose appropriate actions. She will also realize she is not able to control and manipulate situations with her outbursts. With patience and understanding of what emotions your child is learning to handle, you'll be prepared to address this stage in her life.