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Discipline Ideas That Really Work

How to Teach Your Kids Without a Power Struggle

By Armin Brott

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When you're talking to your child, especially to criticize, kneel or sit. You'll still be big enough that he'll know who the boss is.

12. Don't Lecture
Instead, ask questions to engage the child in a discussion of the problematic behavior: "Is smoking cigars OK for kids or not?" "Do you like it when someone pushes you down in the park?"

13. Criticize the Behavior, Not the Child
Even such seemingly innocuous comments as "I've told you a thousand times," or "Every single time you ..." gives the child the message that he's doomed to disappoint you no matter what he does.

14. Reinforce Positive Behavior
We spend so much time criticizing the negatives and not enough time complimenting the positives. Heartfelt comments like, "I'm so proud of you when I see you cleaning up your toys," go a long way.

15. Play Games
"Let's see who can put the most toys away," and "I bet I can put my shoes on before you can" are big favorites. But be sure not to put away more toys or to put your shoes on first – kids under age 5 have a tough time losing.

16. Avoid Tantrums
Learn to recognize the things that trigger your child's tantrums. The most common triggers include exhaustion, overstimulation, hunger and illness. Keeping those factors to a minimum will go a long way toward reducing tantrums.

17. No Spanking
It's bad for the kids and bad for you. Children who get spanked are more likely to suffer from poor self-esteem and depression. They're also more likely to believe that it's OK to hit other people when they're mad. After all, you do.


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