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The Cost of Competition
An Expert Shares Her Thoughts on Winning and Losing
By Rae Pica
When parents consistently place their children in situations where winning is the ultimate goal – where the winners are considered heroes and the losers "losers" – winning is what they come to value. They learn that only the end result counts, not the process involved in getting there. Further, when parents themselves fail to conduct themselves with character, their actions speak much louder than any words preached about good sportsmanship and the value of teamwork and cooperation.
While the goal of many parents is to give their children a running start on the development of sports skills (because success in sports certainly must equal success in life!), the research shows that competition is actually detrimental to skill development. One reason is fear of failure and its resulting stress, which isn't conducive to either learning or performance. Young children in particular are susceptible to this problem because pleasing their parents eans so much to them. And when their parents focus on winning – either through action (screaming on the sidelines) or words (asking "Who won?" instead of "Did you have fun?") – winning becomes the children's goal as well.