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Fear of Failure
One Expert Shares His Views on a Childhood Epidemic
By Jim Taylor, Ph.D.
Defining Failure
To protect children from popular culture's destructive definitions of failure, give them positive definitions of failure. I define failure in ways that encourage children to value rather than fear it.
- Failure is not living in accordance with their values. When children cheat, lie or don't take responsibility for themselves, then they fail.
When children buy into popular culture's definition of success, for example, being overly concerned with popularity or appearance, then they fail. - Failure involves children not giving their best effort, making poor decisions and not doing what is in their best interest.
- When children look for the easy way out, are influenced by peer pressure and act in ways that can hurt them, then they fail.
- Failure also means treating others poorly and not giving back to their families, communities and the world as a whole. When children are selfish, uncaring and disrespectful of the world in which they live, then they fail.
Giving children a definition of failure that takes away the fear liberates them from that fear. It also frees them to strive for success without reservation, to explore, take risks and vigorously pursue their dreams. Children will know in their hearts that some failure is OK and in no way a negative reflection on themselves as people. Finally, failure will ultimately enable them to achieve success, however they define it.