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Affirming Your Children's Voice
How and When to Encourage Your Child to Speak Up
By Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman
Children need to be taught to find and access their voice whenever they experience inappropriate touch. Being touched in the private areas is always inappropriate. A discussion of appropriate and inappropriate touch needs to be held early and often in a child's life. Role-play both kinds of touch. Teach your children to speak up clearly if inappropriate touch occurs. Teach young children to say, "That's not appropriate" or "Nobody gets to touch me there." Teach them to use their voice to tell you if anyone touches them in an inappropriate way. Practice that conversation. Teach them the words to use. "Dad, Billy touched me" or "I got a wrong touch."
Help your teen learn to say, "It's my body and I want you to respect it" and "The answer is 'No' and I don't need a reason."
In addition to inappropriate touch, children need to learn to speak up to defend their personal space. Aunt Tilly doesn't get to plant a big wet kiss on a child without his approval. Your child does not have to be hugged if he doesn't want a hug. Even the gentlest touch in the most common of places is not OK if the child doesn't feel like being touched. Help him or her to say, "I don't really want a hug right now" and "I'm not comfortable being kissed."
5. They are asked a direct question.