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Happy Blended Holidays
12 Ways "Non-Traditional" Families Can Make the Most of the End-of-Year Festivities
Sure, it's hard to be away from your child on Thanksgiving or Christmas. But this is not the time to fight it. Your child loves his other parent as much as he does you. Furthermore, he doesn't deserve to have his holiday ruined by parental fighting or insidious guilt feelings for "making Mommy and/or Daddy sad." No matter how hard you have to bite your tongue, bite it. Your child is worth it.
2. Frame the "split holiday" in a positive light.
Your child may feel dejected about having to spend half her Christmas break with you and half with her other parent. But if you put a good spin on it, that's less likely to happen. You can do this via your own attitude (don't make bitter remarks or roll your eyes when your ex's name comes up) and by pointing out how great it is that she has two parents who love her very much. 3. Revenge is a dish best not served at all during the holidays.
While we're on the subject, the entire holiday should be as free as possible of the emotional baggage you may be carrying regarding your divorce. Obviously, don't bicker in front of the kids. But also, don't indulge in more subtle manifestations of your anger, like oneupmanship: "Oh, Dad got you an X-box? Well, I got you a home entertainment system for your bedroom! Let's invite your friends over to watch movies all night!" 
4. Plan, plan, plan. Communicate, communicate, communicate.
Some of the biggest challenges you face during the holidays are not emotional, they're logistical. What do you do when four sets of grandparents want your family to have Christmas Day at their house? How do you ensure that your child doesn't get duplicates of his "if I don't have it I'll die" gift? What happens when your family gathering falls on the same day as the Hanukkah service at your ex-spouse's Temple – and your child is wanted at both? The only way to solve these issues is through advance planning and communication: with your extended family, your children and, yes, your ex. Want to see more?
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