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Home › Articles › Development › Mommy, Don't Go!

Mommy, Don't Go!

Handling Separation Anxiety

By Heather Johnson Durocher

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Interact With Other Families
Willer suggests connecting with parents of children who will be in the same setting. Introducing children with a soon-to-be classmate or playmate may make them feel a little more comfortable when the program begins.

Bush says this was another factor in her son's positive transition into preschool. Another child at his daycare was enrolled in the same preschool program, which provided him with a familiar face.

Communicate With the Teacher
"It's really a team effort," says Willer. Teachers and caregivers can offer insight into how a child is adjusting as well as brainstorm different strategies if problems persist. They also could offer advice on seeking further help if the child seems especially troubled, Willer says. "Typically you can try different adaptations that make this a successful situation."

Sundeen and Willer agree that allowing a child to bring something special into the classroom or daycare may calm their fears.

"I've had kids come to class with pictures of their parents and that's made all the difference in the world," says Sundeen. She's even had children make picture books during class to help them make the connection of home and school.

Even something small that they could keep in their pocket – a stone or a building block – may ease their minds, Willer says. "Talk to the child and find out what is special to them."

Say Good-bye – And Mean It
As tough as it may be, parents must not prolong their good-byes. Keep it simple and try establishing a ritual, such as two kisses and a hug. "Always tell your child that you are leaving," says Sundeen. "[Parents] may think it would be easier not to, but it's only easier for the parent."

It's important for a parent to inform their child when they'll return, too. Rather than say, "I'll be back in two hours," which a preschooler wouldn't grasp, parents should run through the sequence of events. Tell them pick-up time is after they play, hear a story and have a snack, for example.

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