Hide-and-Seek

My Children's Gift of Solitude

By Staci Schoff

You might say I'm selfish or even a loner, but I prefer to think that solitude is the solid rock upon which my whole survival (or at least my whole sanity) rests. It's the glue that holds my head together and the rejuvenation that enables me to enjoy spending time with my children. Based on that principle, since the birth of my first child five years ago (and especially since the birth of my second, three years ago), I've used the bulk of my creative energy trying to construct moments of peace in the midst of the chaos. It's not that easy, especially since I strive to refrain from the old-fashioned methods like shouting, "Leave me alone!" or just locking the kids outside.

However, I'm not above using the television to this end. Judging from the studies I'm always hearing about, it seems I'm the only middle class, educated woman of "advanced maternal age" who allows her children to watch the dastardly TV. But I don't mind straying from my assigned demographic characteristics if it means one whole hour of assured peace for me each day (or even more on a "bad" day). What's worse, for the love of solitude, I once pretended I didn't hear my husband say, "Sure, go and write for a while, the kids and I will watch Beavis and Butthead."

But I usually choose age-appropriate viewing material at least. I'm particularly indebted to Clifford the Big Red Dog, from whom my children learned to play hide-and-seek. My whole life I never knew what a fantastic game this is. Generally in the hide-and-seek scenario, the boys say, "Mama, you hide!" And I crawl some place cozy, like under all the covers on my bed (sorry, when I can afford a housekeeper maybe I'll ask her to make the beds) or in the corner of my walk-in closet. The kids count and then come to find me. Even if they know where I am, they wander around endlessly pretending to look for me. When they do find me, they scream, "AAAAH, there you are!" And then they run off to find me again. At their ages, I don't even have to switch hiding places. They like knowing where I am. It's great.

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