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Home › Articles › Discipline › To Spank or Not to Spank?

To Spank or Not to Spank?

Parents and Experts Weigh In

By Donna Smith

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Whether or not to spank their child is a tough call many new parents face when their angelic babies turn into limits-testing toddlers. While some parents don't see a problem with giving their little ones a pat or smack on the bottom, others think spanking should be avoided.

To get some perspective on the spanking controversy, we asked two moms and one expert who is also a mom to tell us why they feel the way they do about spanking.

Yes!
"I believe that, yes, toddlers should be spanked," says Paris Cosby, a mother of three from Barons, Alberta, Canada. "A toddler cannot reason or be reasoned with. They are completely self-absorbed and have little to no fear they don't understand danger.

"Toddlers are curious by nature. There are some situations where, in my opinion, a spanking is needed, such as my daughter trying to touch a hot stove or run out on the road. Some experts will say that the toddler only learns that trying to touch the stove or trying to run out on the road means getting a spanking. She won't understand the real reason why she isn't supposed to do these things. My daughter may very well relate the two actions together but until she is at an age where I can reason with her, she understands why she shouldn't do something and has the concept of danger, she will get a spanking. It's better than a burn or another serious injury.

"I do use alternate forms of punishment or diversionary tactics before spanking. I find that time-outs do not work well for this age. Other parents may tell you differently. I'm on my third toddler at this point and I can tell you, time-outs did not work two-thirds of the time. Do you let your child get away with what they've done? No. Do you let them get injured because no form of punishment will get them to stop? No. Do you spank? I say yes.

"I do not think spanking is a cruel and unusual punishment. I think as long as it is not done out of anger, it is used only after other techniques have been tried, and [it] is done only to grab the child's attention, then it is perfectly fine to use spanking as a form of discipline or as a preventative measure to avoid injury. A child should not, however, be spanked more than once on the bum. If a parent spanks a child more than once, it is usually done out of anger or frustration and is not beneficial as a form of punishment. That only scares a child into submission and that isn't what we are trying to do as parents.

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