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Balancing Work and Play at Home

Single Mothers and the Art of Five-Minute Parenting

By Katerie Prior

c="http://www.graphics.iparenting.com/clipart/families/FAM_054L.JPG" width=190 height=285 align=left> Separating work from play may not always be possible. If that's the case, anticipate playtime in your schedule. In business, managers create timelines knowing they need to add a percentage of time for reporting on the project's progress. The same rule applies to playtime. If a project takes four hours to finish, add more time to your schedule so you can play with your kids.

If a deadline looms and you can't anticipate that time, try to make work your play. With school-age children, Honig recommends bringing their homework near your workspace so you can work side-by-side. With younger children, find small tasks that they can do. When Watson brought her son into the office one day, he was anxious and fidgety until he told her he wanted to work, too. "He asked if he could help me," she explains. "I had him stuff envelopes and the rest of my work went like a breeze."

Even housework can be incorporated into playtime. "Parents' work can also become child's play," says Honig. "A child has fun pounding and rolling out dough for baking cookies or finding pairs of matching socks in a laundry basket."

Shelton agrees. "I try to include my son in everything I do," she says. "When I'm cleaning, that's when Kizer wants to play. Since we have hardwood floors, he wears a pair of thick socks and I spray the bottoms with furniture polish. While he cleans the floor, I have a chance to finish my chores."

If mixing work and play is impossible in the short-term, Honig suggests that you have someone watch your children for a few hours. Once you've finished the project, don't jump into another project with a do-or-die deadline. While you may benefit financially, your child ultimately pays for it.

Once you anticipate playtime, be prepared to play. Shelton recommends designating an area near your workspace for toys and craft materials. That way, you can minimize the time it takes to set up and clean up. Conversely, be ready to be spontaneous. If you have finger paint and your child wants to play with blocks, go for the blocks. "Follow your child's lead," Shelton says. "If you show up, they will have tons of ideas to choose from."

Playtime can also be a time to teach if you can make learning opportunities fun. "If the dirty clothes are piling up, we turn laundry into a game of Washing Machine Basketball," says Shelton. "We take turns tossing clothes into the washer, trying to make a basket." While her son is having fun, he is also learning about following rules and developing hand-eye coordination.

When you do take time out of work to play, keep distractions to a minimum. When Watson sits down to play, she turns off the TV, the computer and asks visitors to come later. It even means not keeping a notebook handy for jotting down ideas. "We just play," she says. "It is a special time and I try to always ensure that we have it."

Another distraction can be thinking about work while you play. "When a little boy plays with blocks, he doesn't think what he's supposed to do today or didn't do yesterday," Shelton says. "He just plays blocks. That's his focus and that's what makes the blocks so much fun. When you play with your children, take a cue from them and focus on playing and having fun."

Because so much is riding on both their family and career, single parents know they need to be realistic about their limitations when they balance playtime with work. While it's difficult, Watson feels it's well worth it. "Dedicate time to your kids. Get out of the house and do stuff that is not going to allow you to sneak in work," she says. "Kids need the time to know they are important to you."

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