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Little Personalities
Can Parents Influence Personality Traits?
By Kendeyl Johansen
We all want our children to be happy, successful and make friends easily. But what if your child displays a personality trait that worries you -- like shyness, aggressiveness or perfectionism? This can be especially hard for parents that suffered from one of these behaviors as children.
Shawn Myers, a 33-year-old mother in Utah, sobbed in her car, upset by her daughter Ryann's shy behavior. Several members of Ryann's preschool class had arrived at a swimming pool where 4-year-old Ryann and her mother were sunbathing. Ryann hadn't spoken to any of her classmates or even waved. Ryann stood wistfully on the sidelines, biting one knuckle, as her peers frolicked in the water. Her shy behavior triggered an avalanche of painful memories for Shawn. As an only child, Shawn had attended four separate kindergartens and had developed a shyness that haunted her all through high school. "I don't want Ryann to end up hating school like I did. I want her to easily make friends but she doesn't. I wish I knew how to help her."
Myers isn't the only mother worried about behavioral traits cycling through generations. April Schmidt of Alabama, mom to preschooler Tyler, is concerned about her son's quick temper. "I worry that he'll hurt someone else or himself. I hope to somehow teach him to control his temper without teaching him that his feelings are wrong," she says. "This is a big concern because as a child I had a horrid temper and once cracked my little sister's head open by throwing a large stapler at her. Thankfully she only required a few stitches and there was no permanent damage."
