How To Behave So Your Children Will, Too

Excerpts from the Book by Sal Severe

By Sal Severe

Parents want perfect apples. We want successful children. We want them to be happy and well adjusted. We want them to feel good about themselves. We want children who are loving and respectful of others. We want them to be well behaved and self-motivated. We want them to be independent -- not still living with us when they are thirty. All parents have the same goads and aspirations.

Most parents confront the same behavior problems. We become annoyed repeating everything three times. We spend too much time arguing. We become drained from the nagging and whining and manipulating and quarreling. We become exhausted from shouting and threatening. At times, it seems that all we do is punish. We feel guilty for getting angry, but it appears to be the only way to get results. We blame ourselves and feel ineffective for not knowing what to do. There are times when we dislike our children because their misbehavior makes us feel so inadequate and miserable.

Raising well-behaved children is not easy. Many parents fail. Not because they are inadequate. Not because they lack love for their children. Not becausethey want something less than the best for their children. Unsuccessful parents are inconsistent. They procrastinate. They give warnings but do not follow through. They say things they do not mean. They lack patience. They punish in anger. Unsuccessful parents attend to the negative rather than the positive. They criticize too much. Parents who have discipline problems do not plan. They do not realize that they can be part of the problem. Parents are part of the problem because of their patterns of reaction.